Auto-Tune the News #1 #2

April 24, 2009
Ha ha ha.


Interviewers, sportscasters, and vice presidents alike break into song to report important news. The players include
my homey Sarah Fullen Gregory (she married my brother). You can find her music here:…
Newt Gingrich (on nuclear disarmament)
Robert Gates (on cutting the Pentagon budget)
Jim Nantz (on March Madness)
Joe Biden (on the economic situation)
Wayne Ellington (on how it feels to win)
MG: Mr. Gingrich, what do you think about Obama wanting to cut down on nuclear weapons? In the key of C. And…go!
NG: Uh, I just think that it’s very dangerous to have a fantasy foreign policy
And it can get you in enormous trouble
MG: What’s wrong with fantasy?
I like fantasy and I live in the sea
RG: We must rebalance this department’s programs
In order to institutionalize and finance our capabilities
SG: Yeah, forget about the jets;
Use our super soakers, get al quaeda wet
JN: Tar Heels: rolling on to number 1
Another convincing Carolina victory
SG: Ooh, that’s cool, but it ain’t time to pop the hennessy
JN: Michigan State: heading to the national championship game
Your team responded late here, coach, how did you do it?
MG: Three words: Vi ag ra.
JB: There will continue to be job losses
The remainder of this year
The question is will they continually go down
Before they begin to rebound
Before they begin to rebound
Will they go do-do-do-down
Before they begin to rebound
And now it’s my pleasure to present the 2009
National Championship Trophy
To Coach Roy williams and the North Carolina Tar Heels
You can just tell the unity you had
It’s something very special
And we saw it on the floor tonight
SG: Oh yeah—
Michigan thought we was playing some football
Lions’ stadium; they played like the Lions
Throwin interceptions in the first down
Watchin us dunk on their ass
Goin home cryin
Congratulations Wayne
I know you’re emotional
Talk about what this feels like
WE: Feels great. You know,
You never know what this feeling feels like
Until you experience it.
It’s something that you really can’t explain
SG: Yeah, believe in your dreams
MG: Yeah, you know you can never explain the unexplainable


For the second time, pundits and news anchors urgently break into song to deliver the news.
Download the mp3 by right-clicking here:…
Thanks to Tay Zonday for hosting the mp3! His channel here:
The players in the news opera include:
Andrew Gregory (my big bro). You can also find him here:
Ruth Marcus on gay marriage
Kiran Chetry on marijuana
Sean Hannity and Hillary Clinton on pirates
Katie Couric on melting ice
RM: This was a pretty remarkable week on the gay marriage front
First of all, to have a state like Iowa
MG: Whatchoo tryna say about Iowa
RM: Not the east coast state
MG: East coast
RM: Not the left coast state
MG: Left coast
RM: In a decision written by a republican appointee
MG: shawty, now you sounding so fine
Give me your number, we can bump and grind
Talkin about politics all night
Leavin the club in the mornin light
If we get carred away
We might get gay-married today
KC: We just heard from some of our viewers who strongly support legalizing marijuana
MG: Shawty, 5 of those calls was from me
KC: Do you think we should legalize pot alone or all drugs, including heroine, cocaine, and meth?
MG: My brain says no, but my body says yes!
AG: I’m an angry gorilla. I heard you needed me (ooh ooh ah ah)
SH: Now that Captain Phillips has been successfully rescued
The president has decided to step in front of the spotlight
AG: Ooh, I’m angry! You can’t see it, but my forehead’s veiny
SH: And even take some credit for the rescue
AG: Well, don’t you worry, baby boo
You’ll always have an angry gorilla to be angry with you
That’s what I do. Just ask Donkey Kong. He’s in my crew
KC: At the North Pole, new satellite photos show arctic ice is melting so fast
AG: Oh snap, how fast?
KC: Many scientists now believe it will be gone within 30 years
AG: Surely you jest! I’m under cardiac arrest, shawty
KC: Some researchers think it could disappear in just six
AG: Shit!
KC: Without it there could be a snowball effect
AG: Oh
KC: With temperatures rising even faster
If we all don’t take bold action and take it fast
AG: Yeah,
Both: We will find ourselves on very thin ice
MG: Tell em, Hillary, pirates on very thin ice
HC: These pirates are criminals
They are armed gangs on the sea
MG: That means the ocean
HC: The United States does not make concessions
Or ransom payments to pirates
MG: Hello, shawty, we can meet up at the mall
Browse around at the bookstore
Mentally ball until we fall

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: